New energy please

I got fed, I got us basic tv with 13 channels for $15 a month and an internet $22 for 6 months then $44 monthly.

Am I making a mistake!?

Losing my focus

I am not able to DO IT with my school work for the past two weeks already. I lost my ambitious to stay focused. My things to do list get longer, not enough time in the day to do them, I'd just do what I feels like instead. I don't want to race with the clock. I am now behind with ALL FOUR CLASSES. Still, it don't BOING on me that I need to get my ass up and get moving...

I'd rather to have a small conversation with Jax. I'd think what is near due that I'd need to do. I'd look out of the window and think maybe we could do this... instead of what I'm supposed to be doing.

Jax was away for three weekends, comon, no excuse! I'm well rested, I slept plenty, and I point at the calendar for slowing me down. October is the most stressful time in school, most dramatic weather changes, and either we win or lose against the racing clock.

But still, I need to get my ass moving...

Again.. Closer.. Again.. Closer..

Whoa I witnessed lunar eclipse in my dreaming world this morning. I decided to leave the crowd and I walked through some new place, it felt like I knew there would be a new bridge to walk across the water. But there was construction workers, they were beginning to leave for the day. I told them they were supposed to be done with the new bridge. I actually thought about swimming across the water to get to the opposing land. I decided to sit down and think, look around. I saw some young people doing the same. We tried to make conversations. I felt crowded again, so I wondered about going back to the same direction I came from. The girl said to me, not too good idea, too dark, many broken glasses. I went for it anyway... It was really dark and I saw the shiny broken glasses down the path. Hesitative, I walked slower.. at that moment, I noticed everything became brighter.. and brighter.. I looked up, there was an eclipse of the moon. I looked at the girl far behind me she was yelling at me to look up. I looked up again, I was floored what I saw. It was like the moon was melting and then molded again. It looked so liquid. I was laying down, I was in awe and I wanted to witness again. I mastered that, I commended (without words or thoughts) to have the eclipse to happen again.. and again.. I wanted to see it closer, it became bigger and bigger.. Again and again... I heard myself going, whooaa...

Jax snuck in my bed and it rang 7:45am. Whoa.

I need to look up more on what it means, so far I found:

To dream of an eclipse of the moon, signifies that some hidden aspect of yourself is coming to the surface.

I Rock the Party House, You Rock the Party House

I can't believe it, I am having Halloween party tomorrow!! I am not going to feel stressed but to enjoy hosting. Last weekend, Sarah and I had fun shopping and got started with Halloween decorations, it's a lot of work for the size of my house. Or maybe I just need to lowers my wishes, becoming my house to the hauntest.

Oh the FOOD, I really enjoy cooking and have everyone together to eat. Will I feel the same way this time? I'm not sure. I will make BBQ pulled pork, I made only once long ago I better kick ass this time. I will make cheesy corn bread bake, it's a must to have that with BBQ pulled pork. I am tempted to serve some soup since it's gettin' chilly outside.. Oh Jax and I will make cupcakes with Ginny's famous homemade choc frosting. Maybe add some sprinkles!

Around noon, about 4 kids will come, maybe we can paint the baby pumpkins and eat lunch. We will walk together to the Kids' Day at Salem Commons which can be overwhelming but exciting.

Many responded they will be coming later on that day.. Umm.. I'll wear the costume at like 11am until.... Oh fun ;o)

I hope to take the fellas for a walk to the cemetery *cackling* and explore around Salem, they have Bizzare Biz (vendors and entertainments) all the day until 8pm. Maybe we can go to a specific bar too but it can be very crowded I think. I know coming in to Salem can be bitch, the traffic is hoorrible but it will be worth it!

Ok I gotta go and a-brewin'!

Sun zone

October is here but the Sun do not believe it so. I love it but also fear it.
The trees changed colors but we do not smell the Fall.
Gouls wander once again, wearing sandals.

Cousin Jen is visiting! I found some pictures she took from her last visit (last May).. See how gray and it was trash's day.. yet megawatts light coming from Jax you see him teasing me about my shoes. I wanted to change shoes that I left in my car but he thought it was funny taking one and ran around. I decided not run after him, asking him politely, help put on my shoe..Took awhile for my charm to work, though!
*click on picture for bigger view*

The New Terrority

To really think about it, while Jax is adjusting and finally getting used to the new schedule.. Preschool 3 days a week, less Daddy, with Carly once a week, Vovo's every other weekend.. He's got a full schedule for a little boy...

I can't believe the "Parent-Child Home program" asked to come to my house and see Jax twice a week for 1/2 hour each, play with new toy/book for him to keep, and I guess practicing how to speak properly. Two times a week?? Seriously.

Is the school pushing it knowing Jax needs to see a speech therapist because his mom is Deaf? Is the school familiar with Deaf people and the culture? What's the rush? Since Jax will go to preschool there for 3 years (turn 6 in July and start kindergarten the following fall), why not give time and see how he picks up and catch up with the wagon? I was told he's starting to articular and talks more. A month of preschool (plus 6 weeks of summer camp), he's catching up pretty good for a little person who never had socialize with a group of "normal" kids before..

Many things I need to figure out to get used to the whole new idea: yes, I have not thought about it, Jax needing to see a speech therapist.

I need to do the "research" and see how it works. Especially with Deaf parents, they request for an interpreter? The speech therapist knowing ASL? Or just let them be with kids, alone learning time? How involved should I be about this? I have nooo friggin idea..