It's good to be home, it does not feel like a "Christmas" break to me...
Jax and I left the cold and stayed in Washington, DC for a night at girlfriend Niki's, it's always good to see my girls. The next day we went to the Arlington Cemetry together. It was not too cold so we went for a long walk and visited Gregroy Anthony Wright. While I don't have a camera I brought a one time use camera and took some pictures. At first I felt stunned to see how many died in Iraq so recently since Greg (Jan 13, 2007). There was a little rock on his gravestone, someone wrote "Hero" in gold. While I started to think back about Greg, feeling sad, but it was not for long. Jax ran around, hid behind his gravestone and played peekaboo, and I took pictures. It was beautiful and sad. It didn't felt like I was there for a closure or to say goodbye.
We got home with no problem and I really SLEPT. I was more tired than I thought but Jax got better right away (no more runny nose or coughing), he was happy about small things. He been spending time with Papa Dave, doing the manly stuff. I kept on catching up with my sleep and still felt tired but I was happy to be home. The Christmas Eve party at my Aunty was good, everyone were comfortable and happy.
On Christmas morning, again, Jax enjoyed the small and simple things. I felt lucky because of that I could not play Santa this year. We went to Dave's parents house for dinner they live in Gastonia, NC. And then Jax and I went down to Summerville and visited the Dugas family. For me, it's always tough visiting them. Whatever I do is not enough for them, "Are you working again yet?" "When you done with school?" "Is Jax's father helping you?" "You looked too thin" and "Are you dating again?"
Anyways it's over with. Right now I'm happy the weekend is here. My mom is throwing a house party tomorrow and I have some old friends coming to visit. Sunday, I will go to Atlanta and see my girl Elizabeth. I'm excited! She was my roommate in Natck, it took us awhile to be close friends but one Christmas Break she flew down to Atlanta so that we could celebrate New Year's with Cousin Jen when she lived down there before. About 6 months later, Eli decided to move there and she been happy since. Well Jax will be with my family while I'm gone for 2 nights, I'm excited!!
I gotta mention what I got for my birthday from Lucas' Mom, Margo (said it's from Jax). It's WHITE jacket from BEBE and it's got rabbit's FUR trims. OMG!!! I was shocked when I saw it and Margo was like, Yay love it!! I tried it on, OMG. Just OMG. I feel guilty as a brokeass momma wearing the jacket. Fur? Maybe some PETA members will throw some paints at me. My girl Niki refused touch it. Guilty! Damn! But I worn it tryin to get feel of it...
I just checked my grades online (very patient with Mom's computer), I made a B in my America Literature class!!! I already got a list of what to read for the semester I ain't started reading..
I can't believe how the heroine Bhutto died like that yesterday... Everything's gonna change..
New England Patriot's is playin' tmw night and we are gonna kick ass!!
Ok just rumbling here. Happy Near Ending 2007!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Never Enough Time
Wow yeah I'm racing against the clock. I am trying to finish everything for the semester TONIGHT! No I (incomplete) grade, an extension for me to finish the course but it became harder when I pull it off. I've been kickin' ass in school than ever but it's never enough. In fact I done one paper last night it was due Oct. 31
Last week Thursday as I was done with the only in-class final exam (3 another classes was take home exam...papers!), I felt relieved and passed it on to the Professor. He then asked me, "What was wrong?" that I didn't turn in the paper due before Thanksgiving. Instead of "Why you didn't do it" it's like he already knew I sucked with time management and been doing my best. Hella yea! I made an A on midterm exam and an A on first paper of the semester. I had to laugh! I said to him "I'm working on it." He thanked me for having his class, "it was really a great pleasure having you."
Another professor I was apologizing to her that I didn't do my best in her class, I mean it's a social work class! I told her how I felt like I spent a lot of energy on American Literature class, I felt wasted for not doing my fullest in her class. She was like, "No way! You in game, you always bring your laptop to class and type away everything. You participated in class and brought up many great points and thoughts. You clearly showed you done your best." Mmm, ok! Big smile!
What I learned about this semester? It's never enough time, if I do my 100% but most importantly is that I feel like I done my best, that way I won't have any regrets "I should've done more but I couldn't." No matter what the professors thought of me, they've SEEN what I done. Anyways.. again.. I'm kickin' ass :) I think that's my motto for now...
Alright tonight I'm gonna finish up couple of papers and hopefully I'd turn them in tomorrow despite the fact Jax is sick with colds and coughing and I'm feeling shitty with sinus. It's supposed to snow again Thursday so it's looking like we are goin to hit roadtrip home on Friday.
I'll keep up with my blog over the Holiday ;) My mom have camera.. Free time.. Wanting to remember everything... So I'll be here!
Here's one of tonight of us being happy to cuddle together after 4 days separated (him gone to Vovo's while I cram). Happy Holiday! Happy Loving! Happy Eating! Happy Sleeping...!
Last week Thursday as I was done with the only in-class final exam (3 another classes was take home exam...papers!), I felt relieved and passed it on to the Professor. He then asked me, "What was wrong?" that I didn't turn in the paper due before Thanksgiving. Instead of "Why you didn't do it" it's like he already knew I sucked with time management and been doing my best. Hella yea! I made an A on midterm exam and an A on first paper of the semester. I had to laugh! I said to him "I'm working on it." He thanked me for having his class, "it was really a great pleasure having you."
Another professor I was apologizing to her that I didn't do my best in her class, I mean it's a social work class! I told her how I felt like I spent a lot of energy on American Literature class, I felt wasted for not doing my fullest in her class. She was like, "No way! You in game, you always bring your laptop to class and type away everything. You participated in class and brought up many great points and thoughts. You clearly showed you done your best." Mmm, ok! Big smile!
What I learned about this semester? It's never enough time, if I do my 100% but most importantly is that I feel like I done my best, that way I won't have any regrets "I should've done more but I couldn't." No matter what the professors thought of me, they've SEEN what I done. Anyways.. again.. I'm kickin' ass :) I think that's my motto for now...
Alright tonight I'm gonna finish up couple of papers and hopefully I'd turn them in tomorrow despite the fact Jax is sick with colds and coughing and I'm feeling shitty with sinus. It's supposed to snow again Thursday so it's looking like we are goin to hit roadtrip home on Friday.
I'll keep up with my blog over the Holiday ;) My mom have camera.. Free time.. Wanting to remember everything... So I'll be here!
Here's one of tonight of us being happy to cuddle together after 4 days separated (him gone to Vovo's while I cram). Happy Holiday! Happy Loving! Happy Eating! Happy Sleeping...!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Jumpin' over a rollin' barrier
Ok now what.
I was told by the person who tried to set us up with the speech therapist from Parent-Child Home Program that they cannot afford to pay the interpreter to come at our house twice a week (they will pay $200 weekly).
First, they asked to have an interpreter on the first meeting so we could communicate about what’s the plan and do the paperwork, etc. And then they will send the speech therapist who could sign, twice a week for half hour each.
For some reason I don’t agree with having just the speech therapist to come, her to communicate with both Jax and me, it’s not her specialization doing that.
I probably feel like I’d want to have an interpreter here, so that I can observe the speech therapist and Jax doing their thing on their own but at the same time I’m included. I want to know the new words so maybe later Jax and I can talk about it in ASL. So many new feelings and barriers about this one.
Who to talk with? Like I’d find the nearest deaf single mother similar with my position. I chat with two of my interpreter friends; boy don’t they have a lot to say. One of them is also a CODA, she does know how to bring up my mixed feelings and thoughts as a single deaf mom (her mother went through the same thing). They are really kickin’ my ass not to give in. I think I felt more twisted after the program said “nevermind” about having an interpreter on the first day, and thinking I’d do fine with the speech therapist (maybe they’re right but that’s why need an interpreter for first day to find out).
Thanks to Rosey for sharing but she sent me a link to Oslon Brothers vlog, they’re hearing brothers of deaf parents and it’s a RIOT watching their stories. I could not help it but thinking about Jax growing up as a CODA, I secretly hope he will have a time of his life… having the best and worst worlds (Deaf, Brazilian, America cultures).
Alright, right now, I will continue with this journey lookin’ for another options so we can chose the best way possible. Life is all about good chances!
I was told by the person who tried to set us up with the speech therapist from Parent-Child Home Program that they cannot afford to pay the interpreter to come at our house twice a week (they will pay $200 weekly).
First, they asked to have an interpreter on the first meeting so we could communicate about what’s the plan and do the paperwork, etc. And then they will send the speech therapist who could sign, twice a week for half hour each.
For some reason I don’t agree with having just the speech therapist to come, her to communicate with both Jax and me, it’s not her specialization doing that.
I probably feel like I’d want to have an interpreter here, so that I can observe the speech therapist and Jax doing their thing on their own but at the same time I’m included. I want to know the new words so maybe later Jax and I can talk about it in ASL. So many new feelings and barriers about this one.
Who to talk with? Like I’d find the nearest deaf single mother similar with my position. I chat with two of my interpreter friends; boy don’t they have a lot to say. One of them is also a CODA, she does know how to bring up my mixed feelings and thoughts as a single deaf mom (her mother went through the same thing). They are really kickin’ my ass not to give in. I think I felt more twisted after the program said “nevermind” about having an interpreter on the first day, and thinking I’d do fine with the speech therapist (maybe they’re right but that’s why need an interpreter for first day to find out).
Thanks to Rosey for sharing but she sent me a link to Oslon Brothers vlog, they’re hearing brothers of deaf parents and it’s a RIOT watching their stories. I could not help it but thinking about Jax growing up as a CODA, I secretly hope he will have a time of his life… having the best and worst worlds (Deaf, Brazilian, America cultures).
Alright, right now, I will continue with this journey lookin’ for another options so we can chose the best way possible. Life is all about good chances!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Robbed
Last night I went to sleep earlier than usual and woke up around 3:45am when I realized that Jax was in my bed. So I brought him back to his bed and tried to go back to sleep. Almost an hour later I wasn't sleepin but soon I was dreaming..
I decided to get up and check on Jax, since I didn't fall back to sleep! But then I realized that the house been re arranged and I checked on Jax, he was up, obviously, he was having some companies. Cats were swarming. I looked at the front door, it was broken, I thought to myself no wonder I could not go back to sleep. I tried not to panic, I checked on Jax he seemed OK I told him to go back to sleep. I struggled to call 911 on my pager (can we do that anyway?) I was shaky, I sat by the window. The detectives got here quickly and it was like they already knew what was going on.. I could not identify the important things that were missing, but many things were stolen.
SOMEHOW, they caught a (deaf) couple, they were sitting on my couch like it was no bigs. I was so ready to jump on the girl, they were looking for a way to get more drugs so they robbed those they knew. The guy was sayin' he did things with Jax, tryin' to explain about it that they enjoyed (not sayin' doing what specifically), and I was like, "that's ok, Jax seemed OK to me and if he happened to be Gay, I accept that, no bigs." He quieted down like he lost the battle.
For some reason I had people comin' to look at the scence what was goin' on, it looked like I ended up having a party! All of them strangers (deaf), I even had a mom with her children nappin' on the couch. Out on the deck I saw more people, I finally flipped out "Hey I'm not havin' a party! I was robbed 5am this morning, get hella outta!!" Back inside the house, there were two guys fighting all over. I looked over at Jax's bedroom he was still sleepin' and the mom on the couch woke up was like "this is stupid!!"
Well, eventually, I had everybody OUT of the house. The cats were again swarming. I looked at the door and was shocked on how they broke in. And then I tried to shut and lock.. I could not.. I felt mad!
I decided to get up and check on Jax, since I didn't fall back to sleep! But then I realized that the house been re arranged and I checked on Jax, he was up, obviously, he was having some companies. Cats were swarming. I looked at the front door, it was broken, I thought to myself no wonder I could not go back to sleep. I tried not to panic, I checked on Jax he seemed OK I told him to go back to sleep. I struggled to call 911 on my pager (can we do that anyway?) I was shaky, I sat by the window. The detectives got here quickly and it was like they already knew what was going on.. I could not identify the important things that were missing, but many things were stolen.
SOMEHOW, they caught a (deaf) couple, they were sitting on my couch like it was no bigs. I was so ready to jump on the girl, they were looking for a way to get more drugs so they robbed those they knew. The guy was sayin' he did things with Jax, tryin' to explain about it that they enjoyed (not sayin' doing what specifically), and I was like, "that's ok, Jax seemed OK to me and if he happened to be Gay, I accept that, no bigs." He quieted down like he lost the battle.
For some reason I had people comin' to look at the scence what was goin' on, it looked like I ended up having a party! All of them strangers (deaf), I even had a mom with her children nappin' on the couch. Out on the deck I saw more people, I finally flipped out "Hey I'm not havin' a party! I was robbed 5am this morning, get hella outta!!" Back inside the house, there were two guys fighting all over. I looked over at Jax's bedroom he was still sleepin' and the mom on the couch woke up was like "this is stupid!!"
Well, eventually, I had everybody OUT of the house. The cats were again swarming. I looked at the door and was shocked on how they broke in. And then I tried to shut and lock.. I could not.. I felt mad!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Upgraded
With both working TV and high speed internet, I am BACK to the reality. I watch the news and I surf online a lot. Wow!!! Soon, I will have video phone workin' also! YAY for us! VP with Rosey, Tai, Grandma... oh yay!!!
So Jax got conjunctivitis this week from his friend at school. It's like for the 3rd time in his lifetime. We stayed home Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday if you can't imagine what it is like.. helpin' him to feel better is pretty easy this time anyway. He watched way too much to TV but if we tried to do some activities he wasn't up for it. We rested and slept plenty, I got to catch up some of school work also. Even that it was the most busy time to miss school, I think I am OK. Just need to keep tushin' ass forward. I have major papers due and I'm late with some of them.. More comin' up.. Really challenging semester or maybe it's because I'm really working hard. I always think I need to work a little harder but it became harder.
Yesterday on a Saturday, I asked Jax if he wanna go out..since we stayed at home a lot. He told me what he felt like doing, "let's stay home!" It's awesome to know what he's in the mood to do.
This brilliant little dude was having a blue Tootsie Roll lollipop (for eating his meals really well). He showed me his scary blue tongue, I told him I feel scared seein' them! He corrected me that only the cats are scared of him, not Momma... Awww! He used his eyebrows to communicate as well using O's mouth, perfect little ASL signer!! Btw, I gave in, we will get started with the speech therapist coming to our house TWICE a week. Will get started on that next week to do the paperwork, etc. We will see..
Ok I'm off today until Tuesday as Jax will be gone to Vovo's. I'll be doing my schoolwork and spend time with my girl Sarah... I'm gonna cook BBQ pulled pork with my new crockerpot and turn up the music!
So Jax got conjunctivitis this week from his friend at school. It's like for the 3rd time in his lifetime. We stayed home Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday if you can't imagine what it is like.. helpin' him to feel better is pretty easy this time anyway. He watched way too much to TV but if we tried to do some activities he wasn't up for it. We rested and slept plenty, I got to catch up some of school work also. Even that it was the most busy time to miss school, I think I am OK. Just need to keep tushin' ass forward. I have major papers due and I'm late with some of them.. More comin' up.. Really challenging semester or maybe it's because I'm really working hard. I always think I need to work a little harder but it became harder.
Yesterday on a Saturday, I asked Jax if he wanna go out..since we stayed at home a lot. He told me what he felt like doing, "let's stay home!" It's awesome to know what he's in the mood to do.
This brilliant little dude was having a blue Tootsie Roll lollipop (for eating his meals really well). He showed me his scary blue tongue, I told him I feel scared seein' them! He corrected me that only the cats are scared of him, not Momma... Awww! He used his eyebrows to communicate as well using O's mouth, perfect little ASL signer!! Btw, I gave in, we will get started with the speech therapist coming to our house TWICE a week. Will get started on that next week to do the paperwork, etc. We will see..
Ok I'm off today until Tuesday as Jax will be gone to Vovo's. I'll be doing my schoolwork and spend time with my girl Sarah... I'm gonna cook BBQ pulled pork with my new crockerpot and turn up the music!
Monday, November 5, 2007
Hello lo lo
I went out Sat night for a boogie night with guess who and danced my butt off. I got to sleep in yesterday. I am happy!!
I saw a tutor earlier this morning, trying to work on many papers. I picked up a nice sandwich from the village and I'm back to the building to get started with next paper and I have two classes later.
Jax is having a runny nose, yuck. But to really think about it, he didn't had colds for over a year. He's superb.
Couple days ago, the days of the Dead where the air between the living things and the dead ones became thin. I practically felt them around me. I liked them hanging around with me for little bit. Papa Dave, Greg, Jolene, Deymein, CJ, Aaliyah.. Rest in peace, love ya guys.
Crap I just remembered I need to register for next semester. I don't like planning AHEAD of time but that's what I gotta do. Btw, what's up with the weather? I have not worn my winter boots yet.
I saw a tutor earlier this morning, trying to work on many papers. I picked up a nice sandwich from the village and I'm back to the building to get started with next paper and I have two classes later.
Jax is having a runny nose, yuck. But to really think about it, he didn't had colds for over a year. He's superb.
Couple days ago, the days of the Dead where the air between the living things and the dead ones became thin. I practically felt them around me. I liked them hanging around with me for little bit. Papa Dave, Greg, Jolene, Deymein, CJ, Aaliyah.. Rest in peace, love ya guys.
Crap I just remembered I need to register for next semester. I don't like planning AHEAD of time but that's what I gotta do. Btw, what's up with the weather? I have not worn my winter boots yet.
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